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Joke of the Day
"I wouldn't say I never exercise... Occasionally, my nose runs."
Next Joke
"Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again"
"How did realism get me banned from Facebook? I sided with cancer on the ""Kids VS Cancer"" page."
"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside... if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down, push in and out... faster and faster! Yep that's how you wash a cup."
"I once met a man from Nantucket... ...He didn't understand limericks, either."
"What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? Lickalotapus"
"Hello, Mr. Bond. *shuffles UNO cards* I've been expecting you. *sinks into bean bag chair*"
"Killing people is just like smoking cigarettes I can stop whenever I want"
"Why did Hitler prefer apples to oranges? He didn't like the juice."
"First, that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!"