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Joke of the Day

"The thing I don't like about shopping centers When you see one, you've seen a mall"

"I was woken up today by a tap on my door Odd sense of humor my plummer has."

"In the library: ""Excuse me, where are the books about paranoia?"" ""They are... right behind you."""

"Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy? He kept on and on about his mateys."

"If I poured phenolphthalein on you it would turn pink. Because you a basic bitch."

"I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels."

"I recently got a vaccination... Now I would make a joke about shots or people who get them but I can't now that I'm autistic."

"If your girlfriend starts smoking... Slow down and try using some lube!"

"BREAKING: A Tiny Fortune Teller Has Robbed a Bank And Is Now On The Loose! The headline reads: Small Medium At Large!"

"What does Hitler call something that makes him mad? Infuhrerating"