60543

Joke of the Day

"In the library: ""Excuse me, where are the books about paranoia?"" ""They are... right behind you."""

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it."

"My coffee shop in Tokyo hasn't had many customers in the last couple of months... It's ok now though, people are starting to drift in."

"Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like... Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear."

"This no more tears shampoo sucks. I've been feeding it to my friends kid and he's still crying. nnnnMust be doing something wrong."

"Wait, you're citing me for reckless driving? I can count three from here!"

"Two snare drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... Ba-dum tchh!"

"What idiot called it synthetic cannabis instead of Crock Pot?"

"Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the nearest Shell Station!"

"I take a Viagra every night... It stops me from rolling out of bed."