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Joke of the Day

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement."

"I was in bed last night with my wife. She turns to me and says ""If you turn the lamp off, I'll take it up the arse."" I should have waited for the bulb to cool down."

"What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool? Sinko :D"

"Hello! Is this the police ? POLICE: Yes! What's Ur emergency??! MAN: Two girls are fighting over me! POLICE: What's wrong with that??! MAN: The ugly one is winning.... Hurry!!!"

"I went out drinking last night and took a bus home That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"*Bursts into bank* Robber: THIS IS A ROBBERY. HANDS UP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Bank clerk: No that's clearly a shotgun 2nd robber: OOOH SNAP!"

"My 10 yr old daughter was saying how stressful life is but she did add ""well, at least I've managed to go 10 years without drinking"""

"Why is the sea salty? Because the land never waves back"

"I used to be in a band called The Prevention We hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."

"Where do intergalactic keyboards go to drink? Space Bars"