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Joke of the Day

"""This joke is told through a third persons omniscient point of view."" Said the guy who wanted everyone to know that he had gotten an A in his literature class."

"I like to measure my workouts in terms of a reward system. For instance: I just ran 2.5 pizzas."

"Pete and Repete are in a boat together. Pete jumps out of the boat. Who is left in the boat?"

"What do you call it when a person falls ill from watching too many BBC period dramas? Downton Syndrome"

"90s Kids won't get this............ Social Security Benefits."

"What does a greek say when gets his salary? Danke!"

"I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him."

"`Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked? Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked? No shirt, no shoes, no service."

"*chad kroeger walks through metal detector at airport* TSA agent: I've never seen this low of a reading"

"Indian Chief My friend got an Indian Chief tattooed on his arm. His arm never worked again!"