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Joke of the Day

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night... I should have put it on aloha setting."

"SECURITY GUARD: ""Sir, I have to check all backpacks"" ME: ""ok"" *opens backpack* *its full of hundreds of tiny backpacks*"

"Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes? A: She couldn't find the recipe."

"A lot of people don't realize that Shania Twain's father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer."

"What do dwarfs and midgets have in common? Very little."

"What do Jews and Snorlax have in common? They always lie"

"""And why did you join our gym?"" to stay healthy a friend recommended it I've seen myself naked"

"I'm allergic to alcohol.... I break out in handcuffs."

"I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel. Dad, we're right in front of you Uh..... go ask your mom."

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a Porcupine? In a Porsche, the pricks are in the inside"