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Joke of the Day

"People always asked me why I made puns. I told them that we live in a world where a comedian either climbs to be a legend or lives long enough to start using puns... and I chose the ladder."

"Why do barbers make good drivers? Because they know all the short cuts."

"CASHIER: One ultrathin lubricated condom. That'll be $3.25 DUCK: Can you put it on my bill? CASHIER: That's not where it goes, silly"

"""I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady's purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you...just sit there looking mean."" -Unorganized Crime"

"Fight with Alarm Clock Had a fight with my alarm clock, i refused to wake up, things got voilent. Now its broken and i am awake don't know who won."

"Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10? BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE *drops mic*"

"I think it's kinda gross to have sex in bed After all it's where I eat"

"My boss asked if I had Facebook and I said sure and gave up the link. Then she asked about twitter. After an awkward silence I said, huh?"

"Lame joke of the day. Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game? He had tripped a fan."

"When she tells you to go deeper But your all out of poems"