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Joke of the Day

"Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth? To prevent tooth DK."

"A man goes to the doctors for a physical. The doctor says ""you have to stop masturbating"" The man replies ""why?"" The doctor responds ""because I'm trying to give you a physical"""

"[pet shop] ME: I'm looking for a dog that can talk OWNER: Try this one ME: [to dog] Can you talk? DOG: No ME: My search continues"

"Have you tried just Photoshopping her into your life?"

"I just came up with a new word! Plagiarism!"

"How are Americans and poles similar? Running into one could really ruin your day."

"I was sacked yesterday for being a pervert. I don't understand why, I'm always hard at work."

"Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!"

"Most serial killers are men. That's because women prefer to kill just one man, over a period of many, many years."

"A feminist's view point. Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Feminist: The glass is being raped."