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Joke of the Day
"Will a rabbi charge a lot for circumcisions? No. He just keeps the tips."
Next Joke
"'Failed to send tweet,' is Twitter's polite way of saying, 'Dude..'"
"Hello. It's me. I was wondering if after all this time you still had all the money you owe me."
"What is the most popular ethnic snack among Programmers? NaN"
"""Nwbdy tellsh mwe wht to dwo"", I say through a mouthful of cardboard, giving a middle finger to ""remove pizza from box before consumption""."
"What happens when you scare an old lady? Depends."
"A guy walks into a bar holding a pair of jumper cables He says, ""Hey bartender, can I get a drink over here?"" The bartender says, ""Alright, but don't go trying to start anything in here"""
"Time Magazine lists the 140 best Twitter feeds. Maybe later my fax machine will list the best smartphones."
"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con""... Then what's the opposite of ""progress?"""
"My experience at the doctor's.... So I went to the doctor's office today and he told me I had to stop jerking off. I asked why. He said ""Because I need to give you your physical."""