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Joke of the Day
"I want to donate a large amount of money to a rape clinic I wont take no for an answer."
Next Joke
"I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was.. Apparently Bruce Jenner was ""inappropriate."""
"Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party."
"<at first day of t-ball practice> Me:What's the first rule here, boys? Kid:Don't poop your pants? M:I was gonna say ""have fun"" but...OK."
"Went out for a jog today Thought I heard someone clapping for me. Turns out it was just my fat thighs."
"Confucius say... Man who walks everyday barefoot will have a tough sole"
"How does the moon cut his hair Eclipse it!"
"What's black and white and turns cartwheels? A piebald horse pulling a cart!"
"My children drive me to drinking... As soon as they got their licenses I made them start bringing me to the bar."
"Two Grandma's Are Walking Down The Street... One says to the other 'My chest is tight, and I feel heavy'. The other one replies 'That's because you're standing on your left titty.'."