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Joke of the Day
"Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna."
Next Joke
"The U.S Election is Kind of Like an Attractive Bisexual Because whether they go with a man or a woman, you know they're fucked."
"What do you do when an angry pack of clowns confronts you and tries to fight? Go straight for the juggler."
"Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."
"Q: Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil? A: Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from /r/funny by request)"
"A wise statistician once told me: Be thankful you have more hands than average."
"Someone asked a ship captain if the rumor that he can't swim is true. ""Yes,"" he replied. ""Can pilots fly?"""
"What do you call an aggresive white guy that over-acts in a movie? A salty cracker with cheese."
"9/11 was an inside job ""But the planes were outside!"""
"If you ever laugh so hard that your ass actually comes off, shit probably stops being funny real quick."