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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Mexico win Olympic Medals? Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America."

"I'll bet Petr Pan lives in Nether Netherland."

"1970s: ""Hey baby"" 1990s: ""Hey babe"" 2014: ""Hey bae"" 2020: ""Hey b"" 2030: ""All hail our glorious squirrel overlords"""

"I saw her biting her bottom lip so I threw her a cupcake. Poor girl must have been starving."

"All jeans are skinny jeans... ...if you're fat enough."

"What do you call a ghost's fart? Spectral emissions."

"What's the deal with airline food? Buy 2 get 1 free"

"How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry."

"People who put ""Retired"" on their Linked In acct: I'm not certain you've grasped the site."

"I know it's ""cool"" to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That's somebody's daughter."