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Joke of the Day

"I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there."

"There are teenagers smoking pot in this parking lot I'm gonna throw an ax at them I bet you they get so paranoid"

"Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred? Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat."

"My favorite Lil Wayne song is the one where he sounds like a constipated muppet trying to list off active ingredients in Children's Tylenol."

"I'd tell you the joke about the philosopher but I think only a Nietzsche audience would understand it."

"Give me that! You're going to hurt yourself! *takes toy *hurts self with toy 4: Hahahaha"

"How do you get a Criminal to stop running? Play the national anthem"

"Yo mama nose so big that her neck broke from the weight!"

"Twas the night before Christmas, all through the house not a creature was stirring not even my vodka martini because it's shaken not stirred"

"Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on him."