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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred? Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat."

"I like older men because they've gotten used to life's disappointments. Which means they're ready for me."

"Why are horses no fun? Because they are neigh-sayers"

"What do you call an angry paraplegic? A steamed vegetable."

"My therapist said I have acute personality disorder. I was like I know, right?"

"Why did the internet pirate get scurvy? He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore."

"I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help I asked him, ""Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"" He said, ""Monumental!"" I replied, ""No, I'm not."""

"What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common? They both have ornamental balls"

"* Knock knock. - Who is there? * It's the police. We have received complaints about the noise."

"[Dark Humor]Why is suicide illegal? Destruction of government property."