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Joke of the Day
"How did the Royal Navy attract so many recruits? They were impressive!"
Next Joke
"Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America? On their feet!"
"My heart just skipped a beat when I glanced at my wife across the room. Mostly because she was holding my phone."
"What has four legs and two assholes? A police horse."
"Wife: the library called about an overdue book *eye my copy of Outlandish Excuses for Everyday Life* ""Tell them I died in the moon wars"""
"If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help."
"You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male They have a higher rate of penetration..."
"Whoa, calm down, person actually swimming in the swimming pool."
"My girlfriend says she's my best friend but she got so mad when I called her a homo and threw a snowball at her face. Women are so confusing"
"People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?"