7087

Joke of the Day

"me: ""4,000 for a beehive?"" salesman: ""sir, there are 8,000 bees in there, that's only 50p each"" me: [checking my wallet] ""give me 3 bees"""

"I just couldn't stop watching the video about mechanically joining metal... It was riveting."

"So my neighbor knocked on my door at 3AM... Who knocks on doors at three in the morning? It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes."

"My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology... ...Yet he is the one hooked to life support."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? One stops sucking when you slap it and the other is a blonde."

"ran outta bowls so i filled the cups of a bra with peanuts on one side, chips on the other then carried it to the couch. im 26, available"

"Einstein invented a theory about space... and it was about time too!"

"What do you get when you dress the Hulk in Captain America's clothes? A Star-Spangled Banner."

"I'm not Madagascar, I'm just disappointedgascar"

"Witches these days have it so easy. Do you know how hard it used to be to find so many newts? Now you get them with free 2 day shipping."