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Joke of the Day

"What was the hardest part of being happy in the 1920's? Telling your parents you're gay."

"The nice thing about getting a pet lobster is that you can always threaten to eat it when your kid stops taking care of it."

"Did you hear about the man who found a dollar in his beer? It happened once in a Blue Moon"

"Stranger:""Your tag is sticking out"" Me:""Does it say size 4?"" Stranger:""Yes it does"" Then don't touch it bitch,it's supposed to stick out"

"Why is it fun to play with matches ? They're lit."

"What did the rock say to the other rock? Im hard"

"Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine? He knew better than to drink and derive."

"If you're able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging."

"People keep getting mad when I say I'm a God.... ... They all say I have a me complex"

"My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony I was born ready."