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Joke of the Day

"The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella felt at midnight."

"I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, & my fingers...because I can always count on them."

"A stock market crash is worse than a divorce. You lose half your money and your wife is still around."

"""Hey Pop"" pleaded Angelo ""can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?"" ""What's the matter with you?"" asked his father. ""Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?"""

"afraid Alone in my room and and thinking someone is also there lol."

"Why is PBS asking me for money? If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment."

"""I like your tree's earring."" ""That's a tire swing."""

"and on the 8th day, god created a website for u to meet the hot christian singles in ur area"

"Damn baby, you make me feel like the economic times during Martin Van Buren's Presidency. Hard."

"So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."