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Joke of the Day

"Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night? (X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark."

"[HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: ""A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket."" WIFE: ""What?"" DR: ""Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."""

"Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it's not necessary to show it off."

"What's the deal with Arab Airlines food... Emirate?"

"I booked a suite at a 5 star hotel and when my girlfriend arrived,on the bed spelled out in rose petals was ""be right out,I'm taking a shit"""

"When you're checking for murderers in your house, don't just yell out ""hello!"" that gives them the upper hand. Yell, ""YOU AINT SHIT!"""

"What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? An absolute ruler"

"What's snoop dogg's favorite time of day? High Noon."

"What do you call a poor pepper farmer? A jalapeno pauper"

"I met an exercising nun. She was a firm believer."