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Joke of the Day

"The pen is mightier than the sword ...except in basically every real life battle scenario"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his pizza before it was cool"

"Q: How can you tell if a cat is blonde? A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head."

"How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife? Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you."

"I like my women how I like my wine... ten years old and in my basement."

"Why do so many Latinos drive Hondas? Because they're reliable, quality made cars."

"Trump isn't bad for the economy. Because of him, Correct the Record increased it's operational budget by 600%."

"Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The one that can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts"

"Did you know you're 10 times more likely to be robbed in your home town than in New York city? That's because you don't live in New York City"

"What did the french food critic say when he was given a savoury pancake? ""It's crepe"""