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Joke of the Day

"*seductively feeding you chicken wings while you hit on a hot chick ""I'm sorry, I really don't know what a wingman is supposed to do."""

"After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it."

"Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don't get married. If you are over 35, don't get married. If you are 35, don't get married."

"I have sex with my girlfriend and her twin. How do I tell them apart? Her brother has a moustache."

"Did you see that awesome joke on reddit? Yeah, I reddit.."

"80% of men say they'd marry the same woman all over again. Related: 80% of men are afraid that what they say will get back to their wives."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro cinco."

"For Sale... Parachute: $300. Slightly stained. Used once; never opened. No strings attached."

"What does a turkey scream right before you squirt a hot load all over it? Baster! Baster!"

"*notices zipper is down* OMG! *zips it up* FRIEND: Thanks but next time just tell me and I'll do it myself"