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Joke of the Day

"What do a thong bikini and Donald's Trump's hair have in common. They both barely cover the asshole. (gota give Seth Myer credit for this one)."

"Whats the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians"

"I've just started work as a human chess piece. The money's good, I'm on knights this week."

"Why Trump will win the election? He will use his Trump-card."

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute? When I cut up a prostitute i don't cry."

"I put the ____ in a much larger segment of _____________________."

"[to a straight couple] Which one is the lesbian and which one is the other lesbian"

"I didn't want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies."

"I was texting my friend about why how I loved eating my family and pets. It was then that I learned of the importance of commas."

"Do you want to hear a ghost joke? That's the spirit"