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Joke of the Day

"Him: Your body is like poetry Me: That's so nice! H: A haiku M:.. H: Little on the top, big in the middle, little on the bottom M: Just stop"

"Girls on Facebook call it, ""The Walk of Shame."" Girls on Twitter call it, ""The Strut of Satisfaction"""

"Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats anything. Especially fond of children."

"You know you're old... When your stripper has braces and you're wondering how much her parents paid for them."

"In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine ... runs off ..."

"A man walks into a bar.... ...sits down, orders a beer, and begins to gaze longingly at the barmaid. The barmaid hands him the beer, returns the stare and says... ""Take a pitcher, it'll last longer."""

"My New Year's Resolution 1080p"

"I remember your face, and I even remember what we talked about, but what the hell was your name again?!"

"Don't die a virgin!!! ...Seriously there are terrorists up there waiting for you!"

"[shark tank] ""Hi, what's your product idea?"" Product? [holding bucket of live fish] I'm here to see the tank of sh-... I've made a mistake"