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Joke of the Day
"What is the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my dick in your ass"
Next Joke
"popcorn, or as cerebral smart minds such as myself refer to it 'popped corn', is the number #1 food of watching things"
"I just saw a ghost with Tourrets. Fuckboo to you too."
"What do you call a pimp with his whores? A guard and hoes."
"An impressed man and his friend. Man: ""'Wow, you're omniscient!"" Friend: ""What does that mean?"" Man: ""Nevermind."""
"What is the etymology of the word ""politics""? *Poli*, from the Greek *polloi*, meaning ""Many"". And *Ticks*, from English, meaning ""little bloodsucking creatures."""
"The Japanese flag is actually just a pie chart.. ..about how many of them are scared of Godzilla."
"Me: *slides note to bank teller* Bank Teller: So....you're not robbing us, you just want to take a selfie with ""mad cash"" on your face?"
"Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?"
"If your ringtone is my alarm sound, you can go straight to hell"