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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients? Omelette you figure it out"

Next Joke
 
"Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle."
"I was going to invest in the Microsoft HoloLens but... ...Their projections weren't very good."
"Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes."
"My girlfriend put on a few pounds recently. That explains why I'm attracted to her more."
"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything"
"wife on facebook: homework with 9, he's doing so well! wife to me: it took him 8 tries to spell cake. CAKE. grab some wine on your way home"
"I saw a guy wearing a stovepipe hat the other day... ...so I said, ""Hey! Abraham Lincoln called and he wants..."" Then I realized, they didn't have phones in the mid 1800s."
"I love eBay! Sold my homing pigeons 4 times this month."
"I don't know what is more nerve wrecking... this first kiss or the first fart."