32730

Joke of the Day

"I saw a guy wearing a stovepipe hat the other day... ...so I said, ""Hey! Abraham Lincoln called and he wants..."" Then I realized, they didn't have phones in the mid 1800s."

"What do a hillbilly and a nepotist blackberry executive have in common? They both give their relatives rim jobs."

"The world is a dangerous place. Just the other day, I was walking down the street and I punched a guy in the face for absolutely no reason. Stay safe out there, folks."

"Sorry, I just got your text. Do you still need a ride to the ER?"

"so i'd tell ya a casey anthony joke but my mother would kill me..."

"Fighting childhood obesity.... ....is as easy as taking candy from a baby."

"What's the worst thing about Michael Jackson teaching your kindergarten class? The smell. The man's been dead for 6 years."

"We must be subatomic particles, because I feel strong force between us."

"Editors at fashion magazines, you're doing a great job. Women continue to hate their bodies."

"I've taken up meditation It's better than sitting around doing nothing."