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Joke of the Day

"I'm taking a stand. If the stand owners come looking for it, you guys saw nothing."

"""911 what's your emergency"" IM DYING ""what happened"" I GOT STABBED LIKE 3 TIMES ""lol pics or didn't happen"""

"Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? He conditioned it."

"Its so busy at work... I feel like a priest and all my tickets are altar boys, I need to touch them all."

"Why did the cookie not laugh at your joke? Because it was crumby."

"What's the difference between reading the Bible and talking shit? None."

"We all used Facebook out of curiosity and it ended as an addiction."

"I like my pizza like I like my women... Hot and delivered to my house."

"I just mixed peanut butter and Nutella together in case anyone's curious why I've suddenly started attending church."

"Imagine going to a theater in 1765 to see Mozart play symphony number 30 but as soon as he starts playing, the bass drops and people go nuts"