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Joke of the Day

"Drug sniffing dogs are wrong 80 percent of the time. You would be too if you were sniffing drugs all day."

"I just started a business operating charter flights Business is really taking off"

"iPhones need a feature where an incoming call doesn't take up the whole screen so u can do other things while u ignore a phone call"

"When something falls in your mouth by accident and you eat it, it's a snaccident."

"Schrodinger's Omlette Up until you flip the omelette, you don't know if it's an omelette or scrambled eggs. If it flips, omelette it is If it doesn't, scrambled it is"

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrari? With a porcupine, the prick is on the outside."

"Why did the police arrest the Christmas goose? They suspected it of fowl play."

"Lamar Odom suffered a dozen strokes... Tiger Woods is jealous of his low stroke count."

"Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer? Because they were using a Berner Phone."

"ER: Ma'am, are you allergic to any medications? Me: I'm not answering your silly questions until you give me the wifi password."