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Joke of the Day

"I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want..."

"I just read a book on Stockholm Syndrome. The first couple of chapters were terrible, but by the end I loved it!"

"The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer don't plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in sell it and return to step 1."

"I long for the good old days, when all the men wore suits and all the women wore dresses and they put cocaine in soda"

"What Did The Egg Say To the Boiling Water? I just got laid by a chick, its gonna take me a while to get hard."

"what do you call a pile of kittens? a meowntain"

"I made a joke about someone getting knocked out... ...but I forgot the punchline."

"Why shouldn't Mexicans play UNO? They keep taking all the green cards"

"I really want to drive private or hired cars. But I don't have anything to chauffeur it."

"Why did the Pussy Wagon fail the emissions test? It had a broken Catalytic converter."