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Joke of the Day

"WAITER: how was everything ME: [rubbing belly] so delicious. thank u WAITER: great. please stop rubbing my belly"

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches."

"2 Part Fish Joke What did the fish say when he ran into the wall? Dam. What did the fish's friend say when he ran into the wall? Dumb Bass"

"What is President Clinton's favourite game? Swallow the leader."

"Donald Trump, his publicist, and his ghostwriter walk into a bar... ""So you're alone tonight, Donnie?"""

"I could die But I'm afraid of the reapercussions"

"INTERVIEWER: ""How would you describe yourself?"" ME: ""Verbally, but I've also prepared a dance."""

"What's the best way to wrap up 2016? Debbie Reynolds Wrap."

"My nan's star sign is cancer. It's pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten by a giant crab."

"What drives the hype train? The hyper drive."