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Joke of the Day

"Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains"

"my cousin's baby is due tomorrow & my grandma keeps checkin her phone for news. waitin for the baby 2 text her like ""im here lol. from baby"""

"What do you need when you're not doing well in your Advanced Placement U.S. History class? A Push"

"A riddle Who's got orange skin, poor speaking skills, is overwhelmingly disliked and is in over his head? Yeah, I know, too easy right? It's Jar Jar Binks"

"You know why Italians hate javohas witnesses? They dont like any witnesses."

"9: Daddy, wanna hear something cool? Me: Sure! 9: *tells story* Me: Ok, well clearly we need to work on how you define ""something cool""."

"I'm white, but not have good credit white."

"What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children? 1%"

"What do you call a Nun that bites her nails? A bad Habit. I'll see myself out."

"Did you hear about the Polish assassin that blew up cars for a living? He burns his lips on the tail pipes."