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Joke of the Day

"Today I heard a guy on the street say, ""It's chowder season, baby!"" so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words"

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"Two antennas met on a roof . . . Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married, the ceremony was awful but the reception was brilliant."
"Gonna start rapping about women's rights... Call me Feminem."
"Typographers will appreciate this Stereotype"
"Why do Jews have big noses? Because oxygen is free."
"After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off. ""You're self-employed you stupid bastard,"" I said."
"A pizza shop owner was found dead covered in pepporoni, mushrooms, ham and pineapple. Word is...he topped himself."
"What do you call 5 people sitting In two rows? Tetris"
"What's up? the ceiling"
"Double negatives: A big No No"