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Joke of the Day

"French Joke Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama? A. So the French can show them how to surrender."

"*skips away in terror"

"Math is a drama queen. It can't seriously have that many problems."

"If Kanye West and Justin Beiber were drowning, and you only save one of them... What kind of a sandwich would you make?"

"Neil Armstrong: now where did I park my car? [presses key button] [tiny orange light flashes on the moon] god dammit"

"Girlfriend said she went to the doctor. He said she couldn't have sex. I asked, ""what did your dentist say?"""

"Got talking to a North African girl I got talking to a North African girl in her native language for hours, we just clicked."

"The euthanasia has decreased in China since 1980. Because of the introduction of the ""one-child policy."""

"To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state."

"Did you hear? Broadway is making a theatrical production on puns! It's going to be a *huge* play on words!"