215907

Joke of the Day

"Why do women fake orgasms? because they think men care."

"My Mexican friend asked me, ""What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?"" I asked, ""What?"" He said, ""Little Caesars!"""

"What happened to the man running in front of a car? He got tired. The man running behind the car -- he got exhausted."

"My friend eats Dead People but it's okay because he's a Fungi"

"I don't believe ppl who ""don't masturbate cuz it's not the real thing."" When I run out of Frosted Flakes, I put sugar on my Corn Flakes."

"The most embarrassing thing about mistaking pilates class for pirates class is concealing my musket."

"Just observed a dwarf making a complaint at customer service. He said ""I'm not happy"" I leaned in and asked ""Then which one are you?"""

"Did you hear about Michael Jackson's new album? It's called Invincible! *Sent using Microsoft Internet Explorer 6*"

"When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I wanna punch them in the face and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting."

"Procrastination is like masturbation: it is fun and feels good but in the end you've only fucked yourself."