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Joke of the Day

"It used to be that when people would tell me to go to Hell, I'd say ""I don't believe in Hell."" But then I got married."

"I ate a gluten-free lactose-free low carb pizza for dinner tonight. (It was a raw tomato)"

"I'm gonna hang a Batman costume in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer's."

"IMAGINE the trash talk that goes on between Oxford & Cambridge ""I say. I heard your mum once went to Wolverhampton"" ""You take that BACK SIR"""

"What do you call two Jews having sex? A Kosher pork"

"This is Bullshit. Since when is dressing for the job you want, not the job you have considered ""impersonating an officer""?"

"I have a question of the most importance!? If I find a job in the classifieds...does that mean I can't tell anyone!?"

"When did the Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? When he ate his first Brownie!"

"if accidentally consumed consult a doctor immediately, phew good thing i did it on purpose"

"Me: Things are going well. *knocks on wood* 5-year-old: Who's there? Me: It's not a knock knock joke. 5: It's not a knock knock joke who?"