215781

Joke of the Day

"There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro."

"If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?"

"What do you call a black girl under age 30 named Sarah? Identity thief."

"What do you call a fat alien? An extra-cholesterol. ...I'm so sorry."

"Guy in restaurant: Mam, are u ok? Are u choking? Me: *wipes off drool & removes a cherry stem from my mouth that's not tied in a knot*"

"I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout."

"Met a hot isis girl Jihad me at hello"

"What happens when you cross and owl with a bungee chord? My ass."

"What do you call a little person who can talk to ghosts and just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."