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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people on the planet... Those who can extrapolate information based upon the given context"

"Why did the newspaper cross the street? To get to the other side of the story."

"What's the difference between dark and hard It stays dark all night"

"It's Kim Kardashian's birthday. Which begs the question, ""What do you get the person who does nothing?"""

"What did the yoga teacher say when someone asked if she wanted to leave the party early? Namaste"

"Did you hear about the new gourmet cereal chef? His name is Golden Grahamsay."

"What's the German super hero called? Ale-Man"

"I had a third of a Mars bar the other day... All I wanted to do was rest."

"What are your views on abortion? I'm undecided. On one hand, I like killing babies, on the other, I don't like giving women a choice."

"These drawstring pajama pants practically fall down when I don't tie them, so I guess another piece of birthday cake is in order."