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Joke of the Day

"Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft."

"I had a funny dream last night Mom. Did you? I dreamed I was awake but when I woke up I found I was asleep."

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"Why are people in jail always mad? Because they are constantly butt-hurt."

"Why is it difficult to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they take everything literally."

"Sam sung a song, and PUFF! An apple materialized!"

"""This little computer"" said the sales clerk ""will do half of your job for you."" Studying the machine the senior VP said ""Fine I'll take two."""

"What did the stoner drop when he listened to dubstep? Salt."

"Hey, people ""liking"" Walmart on Facebook - you OK?"

"People who take tons of photos of themselves Have no selfie control"