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Joke of the Day

"If you know this one than we are probably friends. * Man 1: Knock Knock. * Man 2: Who's there? * Man 1: KGB. * Man 2: KGB wh- *get's slapped* * Man 1: WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!"

"For Sale... Parachute: $300. Slightly stained. Used once; never opened. No strings attached."

"My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory. Why didn't I think of that?"

"What do you call a communist who's also a good sniper? a Marxman"

"Tell me your story, park-giant-truck-diagonally guy. Things will never get better if we don't dialogue."

"How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb? One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room."

"""God is dead"" - Nietzsche ""Nietzsche is dead"" - God ""I'd like to add you to my professional network"" - LinkedIn"

"Did you hear about the tropical birds who got stuck together? Well I won't explain now, it's toucan fusing."

"Facebook is down, so don't say prayer doesn't work."

"Why do women have babies? Because it hurts and they deserve it"