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Joke of the Day

"""God is dead"" - Nietzsche ""Nietzsche is dead"" - God ""I'd like to add you to my professional network"" - LinkedIn"

"A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine but whatever you do don't cure her."

"Poor Bob Holness Only been at the pearly gates five minutes, when Amy Winehouse stumbles over and asks 'can I have an E please Bob'."

"As someone who didn't win a lot of awards, I enjoyed going to the dentist it was one of the few times I was recognized by plaque"

"Shout out to all the Aussies over here! Want to hear a joke? :) Tony Abbott"

"How did the Manicurist feel after her salon was robbed? Defiled."

"Two pubes sat on a toilet seat...nsfw One says to the other, ""how long are we going to stay here?"" The other says ""dunno, till we get pissed off I suppose""."

"Guess who's watching Vin Diesel movies all day again? That's right: Vin Diesel."

"Heard about the two guys who stole a calendar? They both got 6 months"

"What is the difference between Detroit and Cleveland? 5 years."