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Joke of the Day

"I think I owe my vibrator a Valentines Day card."

"I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit."

"If there was someone selling drugs in this place... .... Weed know."

"[META] banned phrase suggestion Can we get an auto removal / deletion on any joke that has ""sorry"" at the end? Nothing kills a joke for me like having someone apologize for it."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh."

"[drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?"

"what did the faggot faggot the faggot? because faggot hahahaha"

"Why did Tiger Woods get divorced? Because Tiger was a lion cheetah!"

"What did the socialist use before candles? Electricity."

"I USED VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO TODAY AND NOW I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING!"