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Joke of the Day

"Why do medicine boxes always have a little bit of cotton in them? To remeber the black man of what he did before he dealt drugs."

"What do you call a mob of armed lesbians? Militia Etheridge"

"I got fired from my job as a jihadist. They told me to blow up a bus, and I burnt my lips on the exaust pipe."

"How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer!"

"*caches football thrown from off screen* ""Are you having problems with slow interne*video starts buffering*"

"Bernie Sanders fans say ""Feel the Bern."" Gary Johnson fans say Feel the Johnson."

"Why is it so hard to get into a relationship with an SJW? Because they have high double standards."

"""Shh...it took an hour, but I think he's finally asleep."" *fireworks go off outside* *opens window* I WILL KILL YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE"

"What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids? Fire."

"Two peanuts walks into a bar... ...and one was a salted."