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Joke of the Day

"Professor X can move objects with his mind If Professor X can move objects with his mind, why can't he make his legs move??"

"What did the french baker ghost said? BOO! Langerieeee!"

"A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Shit Sherlock Research Institute."

"Thanks, student loans, for getting me through school I don't think I could ever repay you"

"Someone asked me the other day whole my favorite superhero is... I said that I thought iceman was pretty cool"

"bowler hat on a donkey Do you know why it's not recommended to put a bowler hat on a donkey? Because no one likes a smartass..."

"What did Sigmund Freud do for mother's day? His mom."

"Clark Kent: Only kryptonite can kill me. Perry: What do you mean? Can't regular things kill you? Clark: Oh shit. Which guy am I right now!?"

"My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool."

"I drink to forget that I accidentally once said ""I love you"" when ending a call with a customer service rep."