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Joke of the Day

"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctor described his condition as stable."

"ME: Well, time to make like a tree, and leaf. HER: *giggling* So, my place or... ME: *starts sprouting leaves from my fingers* HER: WHAT THE"

"Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? Just the people who were in charge of that decision."

"An expert answered a question I asked him about agnosticism He said he wasn't sure."

"I like my coffee like i like my movies... Black to the Future."

"What was the fisherman's favorite art style reelism"

"TIL that Kim Kardashian's giant ass has it's own birth certificate, and even has a legal name: Kanye."

"What is like tomato but better? DD-WRT"

"What'd the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?"

"When black guys say ""ya feel me?"", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at."