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Joke of the Day

"My 85 year old Grandfather just burned me so hard... Me: ""Hey Pup, know what I've been thinking?"" Pup: ""Is that what I smell burning?"""

"Some lady on The Price is Right just won a brand new 2016 Epi-Pen."

"If I was a villain, my weapon would be a fan and a bag of eyelashes for blinding superheroes I'm a villain, don't ask how I get my weapons"

"I'd like to thank my skeletal system for all the support it's given me over the years."

"The days of good grammar has went."

"What's the difference between RAM and ROM? I can't ROM my dick in your arse"

"How did Paul McCartney get Linda pregnant? C Moon"

"I love how Xanax spelled backwards is retard"

"What is 1 + 1? 3 if you don't use protection."

"4-year-old: Can you hold my rubber ducky? Me: *takes the ducky* Why? 4: I dropped it in the toilet."