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Joke of the Day

"Explanation of HANDSOME A twosome is sex with two people, and a threesome is sex with three people. That's why some men keep getting called handsome."

"You'll never believe how much this girl paid me to have sex with her...... One vagina."

"Nobody Likes This. I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."

"Me when my friends are sad: 268 text messages of advice and tell them how perfect they are. Then when I'm sad: Oh, sorry ."

"You know instead of saying half a dozen you could just say 6, right?"

"What do you call a bone that disrespects God? A Blasfemur"

"What do you call the famous astronomer whose observations were the foundation of Kelper's great works. Typo Brahe."

"Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears."

"What is rhubarb? Celery with high blood pressure."

"[at airport] TSA: sir, you've been randomly chosen for a cavity search. ME: that's cool i didn't know my flight included a dental cleaning"