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Joke of the Day

"What is ISIS's favorite candy bar? Allahu Snackbar, it's flavor is explosive."

"Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: So it could become a first-aid kit."

"What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ? A cow that can milk itself !"

"According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole."

"Gas should cost /gallon. Since the price is irrational."

"You hear about the new cemetery? People are dying to get in there..."

"You may think I know fuck nothing ... But let me tell you. I know fuck all."

"wife: Do you want a bowl? me [eating ice cream out of the carton] Why?"

"TV sitcom idea: Wacky copy editor who yells ""nailed it!"" even when he didn't, also he's alone as mankind was obliterated by a viral pandemic"

"I told the cashier that her eyebrows were drawn too high I guess she didn't realize because she seemed pretty surprised."