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Joke of the Day
"Lord please give me patience, because if you give me strength I may just beat someone to death."
Next Joke
"What has two legs and red all over? Half a puppy... I'm sorry"
"Robot Doctor. Robot Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Robot Doctor: ""1""."
"Who is the scientist's favorite zombie? The schrodinger cat."
"Who delivers pizza in the hood? Popo John's"
"Bought my dad a pair of Crocs for his birthday, then pushed him down a flight of stairs for looking stupid in them."
"Did you hear about the cartoonist being investigated? Police on the case say he has a sketchy past."
"[shipwreck diary] Day 3: dude next to me can hold his breath for 3 days. Going on 4. Very impressive."
"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy."
"Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep the beet."