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Joke of the Day
"How do you put an elephant in a Safeway bag? Take the ""s"" out of Safe and the ""f"" out of way."
Next Joke
"People say I'm the Lebron James of Comedy... Because I'm balding and Delonte West had sex with my mother"
"What is the Highest Proof of Tequila? Juan Fifty Juan"
"Chuck Norris' feet accounted for more damage in 2005 than both the war in Iraq and Hurricane Katrina."
"I like girls in high heels They're always on there toes Whacka, whacka"
"To save a bit of money on e-cigarettes I've started to roll my own batteries."
"I'll stop calling you a racist if you stop bragging about all the marathons you run."
"Him: You're pretty obnoxious. You know that? Me: I'm sorry. All I heard was pretty."
"My dog doesn't always bark like there's an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I'm home alone and in the shower."
"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat? 'cause if they fell forward, they'd still be in the Fuckin' boat! I'll show myself out."