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Joke of the Day

"My dog doesn't always bark like there's an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I'm home alone and in the shower."

Next Joke
 
"Why do blind people not skydive? Scares the living shit outa their dogs!"
"Why couldn't Adam stop Cain from killing his brother? Because he wasn't Abel."
"Anytime I cannot find my kids I just go to the bathroom and wait for them to barge in"
"You're so dumb.. That if you fell into a pool full of titties, you would come out sucking your thumb."
"Do you have a hole in your sock? ""No ..."" *(looks at sock)* . . How'd you get your foot in it?"
"What is the appropriate response to a great performance at the Special Olympics? A handiclap"
"I need to make a change. I haven't given a fuck my entire life. I'm still a virgin."
"I can't believe all of this violence and rioting is happening... ... all because Craig Ferguson is leaving his show."
"A lot of kids these days don't even want to be sailors... ...but it's just so easy to give in to ""pier"" pressure."